“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude”. – Dr Maya Angelou

The second component of the AAB model focuses on your:


You need to have the right attitude. A good example is a ‘can do’ attitude.

There is nothing worse than a poor attitude. A poor attitude has the potential to derail even the strongest of characters. If you find yourself thinking negatively all the time, you need to change your mind-set in order to gain back some self-control. I’m a strong advocate of positive thinking using the ‘4A strategy’  to help you focus on the things you do want rather than those you don’t. The 4A Strategy encourages you to:

Accept: the things you can’t change. Acceptance involves stopping, looking and listening to what is going on around you and answering to yourself ‘is being emotional going to help me in this situation?’

Adapt: to the situation. Listen to what the person is saying as you may have unrealistic expectations/deadlines.

Alter: so as to change the situation. Find an alternative route to your goals.

Avoid: topics that are going to trigger an emotional imbalance for you.

Boosting your confidence through the AAB (Appearance-Attitude-Behaviour) model:

As promised last week, this blog is dedicated to expanding more on my AAB model which starts with:

Appearance – looking and feeling good.

Want to improve your image?

Want to improve your presence and stand out from your competitors?

If you present yourself poorly with no effort, others will judge your work efforts accordingly. Since you only get one crack at making good first impression, you need to get your appearance right! For example, if you are wanting to attract the right partner, the way you express yourself, the inner and outer essence of what is unique about you is the key part of making or breaking a first impression. Often people know who they are but their style fails to convey it, or even worse sends the wrong message. By perfecting and projecting your individual style, you will successfully manage and control other people’s perception of you.

Your personal presentation is not just about your fashion sense. It’s the complete package. Head to toe style transformation which includes grooming such as your skin, nails, hair and makeup. A little effort such as ensuring your clothes are ironed and stain free, along with smelling good, can and will go a long way if you want to stand out from the crowd and increase your confidence / self-esteem.

Dressing for success is all about knowing your audience/customers as first impressions are everything. Some people have fashion sense, some don’t’. Certain colours bring different dynamics. It matters to the audience, so cannot be ignored.

Whilst being fashionable attaches a certain level of negativity or unattainability, for me, being fashionable is all about practicality, versatility, having fun and expressing yourself in a way that empowers and portrays your image, boosts your self-esteem and ensures presentation for success.

Stay tuned as I share the remaining two elements of my AAB model in order to help boost your confidence and get you the success you deserve!

Why are some people more confident than others?

Is it their upbringing? Or perhaps ‘freedom of expression’ at an early age? Or was it ingrained in their DNA?

This topic is very personal to me, and one which I am very passionate about having been on the other side of the ‘confidence trap’ until well into my teens.  Suffering from low self-esteem, through my own experiences, reminds me just how debilitating life can be without confidence. You withdraw from the real world, you start to doubt anything and everything about yourself.  You start to feel inferior.  It’s a horrible trap to fall into BUT it doesn’t have to be this way!  Speaking from my own experience, you do not have to be born with confidence to acquire it! You just have to work really, really hard at attaining it.  I can comfortably say for me, confidence was a skill developed over time and never stops being developed.  It requires some serious guts and determination as you will fall but fear not as your persistence will pay off and help you rise in more ways than you can imagine.

Over the years I have learned some great tricks of the trade and mastered some pretty powerful tools which I want to share with YOU to ensure you get the confidence you need today, so that you can do or be the person you want to be without falling into the ‘confidence trap’.

Those tools start with exploring your appearance, attitude and behaviour (AAB).  Exploring and aligning your AAB will boost your confidence, allow you to step outside your comfort zone and allow you to tackle any challenge life throws your way!

Stay tuned over the coming weeks as I expand more on what I really mean by ‘exploring and aligning your appearance, attitude and behaviour (AAB)’.

Have a great week!

Two greatest lessons I’ve learned as a parent and a leader

Whether you’re a child or an employee:

1. You want to be heard

2. You want to be appreciated

And that is what fairness is all about!

They say wisdom comes with age yet so many parents and leaders fail to acknowledge these two most neglected lessons. We blame it on time yet time is the one thing you cannot buy-back. So next time your child or employee wants to say something, just stop and listen, you owe them this much.

How much would you pay for a slice of confidence?

How many times has an opportunity presented itself.  Right in your face, screaming to be taken, yet you did nothing.  You walked away thinking……what the hell…why didn’t I just take a risk.  The opportunity is gone and you think your chance is gone forever.  Think again! No way.  Opportunities are everywhere, all around us.  Some present themselves and others,  well we create ourselves of course.  The question is how much would you be willing to pay for a slice of confidence?  So that next time you are armed and ready.  That confidence to put your hand up, to take a risk, to tell fear to bugger off, to have the courage to just go for it no matter what. To not hesitate, to just flippin go for it!  Well the good news is you don’t have to pay a dime, you just need to dig deep into the courageous part of you and put yourself in the moment, experience it and let the emotions do the rest.

I can, I will

Turning a dream into reality.  How does one get there?  You have a passion for doing something great…yet you just cannot visualise the end product.  So you park your dream and embrace the safety net of someone else’s dream……… This process is sooooo friggin frustrating!   You motivate yourself and then some demotivates you…but ultimately YOU are in control of your destiny, right?  At least I think so.  In order to stop my negative thinking I turned to my motivational guru Tony Robbins and the following quote jumped right at me…  “if you haven’t reached your dream…you’re just not that hungry for it”!   I’d be lying if I said this quote didn’t make me angry, but he was right.

So today I take responsibility for not being hungry enough.  Today I take charge in order to reinvigorate my hunger, my drive to do and be the best I can be.  Because I can and I will!

The question is are you hungry enough?

To keepinitreal